Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Break my heart for what breaks yours.
OK, let's begin. I'm sorry for the long post you are in for. I want to share my heart. I hope to be as transparent as possible on this blog, and this is something that is on my heart. Oh, and I'm just going to throw in a random picture at the top because we all know I don't like to post without pictures. ;)
About a week ago, I prayed that God would burden my heart for what breaks his. It's funny, when I pray those types of things, I usually don't mean it. Sad, but true. I don't want to see the things the way he does, because it's so much easier sitting back and looking away from the painful things in the world. I prefer being happily oblivious. Even though I said that prayer without any honesty to back it, he answered it. Boy, did he answer.
We were sitting in youth group tonight when our youth pastor raised the question "How are you? How are you really? Tell me about your days. What are you going through right now?" All was fine and dandy until he asked one specific boy. He didn't plan it. He was just going around asking for transparency. This kid, maybe 12 at most, broke my heart with the story of his day. When he walked into school this morning, a kid pushed him and called him a "fa*got." That was just when he walked in! He didn't do anything. He didn't egg the kid on. He told us throughout the day people pushed him into lockers, ran into him on purpose, and basically made his life miserable. During prayer time at the end, it was encouraging to hear the other kids praying for this boy. Asking God to make his day a little easier. All 50 kids in that youth group were told to continue keeping this kid in their prayers and hearts.
How can kids be so awful. I see it with adults, too. Every single day. I hear the heartbreaks, the name calling, the gossip. Why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves on a level that lets us feel bigger than everyone around us?
My husband and I were talking to two other kids after the service. The girl was wearing a dog-tag necklace with a picture of a 40-something year old man with the words RIP DADDY above it. I told her it was a really nice necklace, and she poured her heart out. This girl lost her grandma and dad within a week of each other. A. Week. Her heart was so broken. But the worst was what the kids said to her at school. Mostly through social media, kids would tease her about her losses. One boy even said "Go cry to Daddy and Grandma! Oh wait... you can't!" Heart. Breaking. WHY? Why do people do this? Jesus has been showing me what he sees. I can't ignore the hurt that these amazing young kids are going through. They are just kids! She told me more stories of the bullying at school, getting beat up, the taunting and the teasing. I just can't fathom the amount of strength they must have. All I could do was give her a hug. It felt like an insufficient thing after listening to such devastating stories. My husband said later that maybe us listening was all they needed. I think he is right.
I don't know why I feel the need to share this. I just want us to think before we speak. We are all guilty. We might not go to the extremes like these kids, but the fact is all of us have a little bully in us. Take time to listen. Most of the people around us don't need advice, they just need someone to lend an ear without judgement. They want someone to take the time to make them feel like they are worth it. Put others before yourself. I don't care how bad you think you have it, someone out there has it worse than any of us. I can tell you first hand that tonight was like having a piece of humble pie shoved in my face. I tend to get in a crazy way of thinking that my life is stressful or difficult. I have it so good. I have so many things to be thankful for.
Make a difference this week. Reach out to someone you normally would not.